MCA #9, Friday Morning

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve knew the moment he woke up something was seriously...off. He rolled over and lifted the sheets. It was as he'd suspected. He had breasts. "Huh." Then after a moment's consideration, "Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later."

His morning workout was right out, since he didn't own a bra, so after he got up and put on a t-shirt and pair of sweats that seemed to be intent on almost falling off his hips no matter how tight he pulled the drawstring, he decided to make brownies. He was randomly a woman. As far as he was concerned, that called for chocolate.

((Mostly establishy, but could be open, I guess, if anyone wants to drop by or be lured by the smell of brownies. *is flexible*))

Comments

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

...also very cruel.

"Brownies, you said?" No, it wasn't the female thing. It was the 'in Japan for months' thing that made his stomach rumble.

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve shrugged again. "Waking up with breasts calls for chocolate, if you ask me." He went to fetch the brownies, trusting Tony to shut the door behind him. "Have you not been feeding yourself again? Coffee is not a major food group."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"I've been eating fine." Nevermind that someone else had been cooking it for him. "I'm not helpless."

[screwyoumarvel]

"I didn't say you were." Steve held out the plate of brownies as a peace offering. "Maybe I'm transferring again, but if you've never gone more than twenty-four hours without consuming anything but black coffee, I will be very surprised, is all I'm saying."

Did they even have coffee in nineteenth-century Japan?

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

They had tea. A lot of tea.

Tony hated Japan.

"I've gone months, you know."

[screwyoumarvel]

"You've gone months what?" Steve asked.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Without coffee." Of course, he'd been held hostage then...

[screwyoumarvel]

Oh, right. Afghanistan.

Find a happy place, Steve. "When you were five doesn't count."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"I might have had it in the bottle, actually," Tony said, going with that easily.

[screwyoumarvel]

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me. There's espresso powder in the brownies, by the way."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"You're a god." A beat. "Goddess now, I suppose."

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve blushed. "I'm just a guy. Girl. Whatever. When you meet a god--or, ah, goddess--you'll know."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"...you know from experience?"

[screwyoumarvel]

"Well, yeah," Steve said. "I'm friends with one, actually. Was friends with one. We're both not dead, now. I should call him or something. You know, sometime when I'm not..." he gestured to his rack with the hand not holding the brownies.

To quote Nick, his god had a hammer.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"It might go over better with them."

..if you were Tony.

[screwyoumarvel]

"I doubt it." Steve seemed to remember hearing something about Loki being randomly a woman. Thor would probably not be amused. "He's not..." you.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Fond of busty blonds?"

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve thought about Jane and Sif, and wondered if maybe he didn't like blondes. But that was neither here nor there. He grinned at Tony, then glanced down at his own chest. "It's kind of ridiculous, isn't it?"

That was certainly one word for it.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"I think you should at least have something wrong with you to make the rest of us feel better."

[screwyoumarvel]

"What are you talking about?" Steve said. "You look great. Fantastic."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"And you look like a model." That was a compliment. Tony dated models.

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve laughed. It was almost bitter. "This? This is all Rebirth."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Rebirth?"

[screwyoumarvel]

"I told you. I didn't used to be the way I am. Then there was Operation Rebirth, and I was something entirely different. Except now I've quit, and my body's still reaping the benefits. Even as a woman. I guarantee you I wouldn't have looked like this before. You wouldn't have looked twice at me." Steve sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. Still weird. "I don't know. I think I'm still trying to figure out how much of Steve Rogers is left and how much of me will always be Captain America. Sorry I took it out on you."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Tony cocked his yeah, leaning to get a better view of Steve. "Maybe you would've had that sexy librarian look. You never know."