Wednesday Morning, 33 Apocalypse Avenue

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve was cleaning his space when his phone rang. He checked the caller ID: Bucky.

He opened the conversation with, "You gave Bernie my phone number?"

"I thought you'd like to know!"

"She thought I was dead!"

"Yeah, and she punches really hard, too." A pause. "Those two sentences are connected."

"I figured that out, yes. How's your face?"

"It'll heal. Your ex-girlfriend is crazy, by the way, and secured, but more on that later. We have an extraction plan. It's kind of a crappy extraction plan and everybody's going to think you're a Skrull for at least a month, but it'll serve. So you need to be ready to leave on Friday."

That gave him the better part of two days to get everything in order. "I can manage that. What exactly is the plan?"

"We're going to sneak you into Arlington and you're going to wander up to someone acting confused."

"..."

"Don't."

"You're right, that is a really bad plan."

"And yet it will work."

"Wait. Is Friday the fourth there, too?"

"It is," Bucky confirmed.

It would work. Steve wasn't a big fan of exploiting symbols, largely because he kind of was one. But for the same reason, he understood how they worked. If Captain America returned to the land of the living on Independence Day in Arlington National Cemetery, no one was going to look at it too closely.

"Did you say something about Skrulls?"

"We're having a little bit of a Skrull situation. I think. I'm mostly worrying about Red Skull and your girl. The Skrulls are Stark's problem." He hesitated. "Look, seriously. Come home. I am drowning here."

Now Steve knew he had to go, if only to evaluate the veracity of that statement for himself. He seriously doubted it, though. Bucky could handle himself. "Friday."

"Friday afternoon. Someone will meet you at the causeway, since it's apparently still there even though your island is in Africa." Steve didn't correct him. He'd only laugh. "I can't guarantee it will be me."

"Don't send Bernie. Bernie will hit me."

"Welcome to the club." Click.

It took a minute for it to hit him. He was leaving the day after tomorrow. He was going home. It was time to put Steve Rogers away and be Captain America again. The long vacation was almost over.

As his first step in putting his affairs in Fandom in order, he went upstairs to bake Deadpool a cake.

((Open to anyone who might have cause to be in 33 Apocalypse's kitchen.))

Comments

[tyler_gone]

Tyler wandered out of his room wrapped in a scraggly robe to make coffee, or bogart coffee someone else had made, whatever worked.

"You're up early," he told Steve, as he started to fumble for a filter.

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve was completely unopposed to his coffee being bogarted, otherwise he wouldn't have made a full pot. "Good morning. I usually am," he said, glaring at the bowl containing his cream cheese frosting. Something wasn't right there. He suspected it involved vanilla.

Then he remembered himself and looked up at Tyler. "Oh. I'm moving out on Friday."

[tyler_gone]

There was already a full pot -- that worked. Tyler abandoned his efforts to get a filter and poured himself a mug of what Steve had made.

"What is that? Frosting?" he asked, looking over the other man's shoulder before taking a sip. "Thanks for telling me. Where are you going?"

[screwyoumarvel]

"Home." Steve realized that was probably unhelpful. "New York." He continued frowning at the frosting. "I promised Deadpool I'd make him an armadillo cake."

[tyler_gone]

"You owe Deadpool an armadillo cake because you're moving to New York," Tyler echoed.

This ... might make more sense after coffee, and he took another sip.

Nope.

"I've never heard of an armadillo cake," he announced. "I'm hoping no animals are involved."

[screwyoumarvel]

"I owe Deadpool an armadillo cake because he kind of...saved my life," Steve explained. "No, it's. It's not actually going to look like an armadillo, because I can't carve a cake and he can just deal. But it's red velvet cake. Like in that movie."

[tyler_gone]

Tyler's eyebrows shot up. "Yeah, life-saving's worth a red velvet cake," he decided. "Whether it looks like an armadillo or not."

He leaned back against the counter, wondering if he should offer to help. "So what are you going to do back home?"

[screwyoumarvel]

"Deal with the fallout," Steve muttered. "My girlfriend is brainwashed and insane, my best friend is a crazy fascist, there's a Nazi Communist trying to take over America, and also something with shapeshifting aliens." Bucky hadn't been really clear on that part.

[tyler_gone]

The sip of coffee Tyler took while trying to process that was in spite of the fact he, correctly, assumed it wouldn't work. It hadn't even been able to cope with an armadillo cake.

Tasted good, though.

"Fandom," he muttered under his breath, then, at normal volume, added, "Sounds like a party. Wish I had more to say than good luck, but..."

He really didn't. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

There. That was something.

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve almost laughed. "No. But I appreciate the offer."

[tyler_gone]

"It's kind of what you say when someone has to go save the world," he shrugged. He'd pretty much known this was Steve's mission. "And fight a Nazi Communist. He should pick one or the other."

[screwyoumarvel]

"He used to be just a Nazi. And that was bad enough. Now he's possessing a Russian hardliner." Steve shrugged. "It's better than when he was in the body of my clone, I suppose."

[tyler_gone]

Tyler had given up on hoping caffeine would help, and he gave his mug a longing look before answering. Steve's world was strange.

"Yeah, I guess it's better when the guy trying to kill you doesn't look like you," he agreed dryly. "There will be people to help you there, right?"

[screwyoumarvel]

"Most of them I'll have to convince I'm really me, but. Yes. I hope so." There was Bucky, at least. Beyond that, well, what more did he really need?

[tyler_gone]

"At least that's something," Tyler said, after a moment. He was not so good at being encouraging, no. "Is there anybody here who will know how things went? Or you could send a postcard, or ... something."

[screwyoumarvel]

"I'll try to keep in touch," he promised. "And I suspect Tony will find a way to be annoying at me," he added wryly.

[tyler_gone]

"Some people are good at that," Tyler said, with a tight little smile. "And ... you know. Be careful, all of that. The house will miss you."

He wasn't already considering taking the basement as his own. Really.

[screwyoumarvel]

It was a nice basement. Shame for it to go to waste. "I will," he said, and he meant it, inasmuch as he could. "Thank you. Take care of yourself. Don't let the island eat you or something."

[tyler_gone]

"I'll do my best," Tyler promised.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Not exactly in the kitchen, but there was a knock at the door.

One Tony Stark was standing outside-- now with a nice winter jacket he had Pepper express over-- and carrying a few things to return.

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve opened the door, blinked at him, and said simply, "Hi."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Holding out the pile of folded clothing and two wrapped boxes, Tony nodded.

"Yeah, hi. I thought maybe you'd want these back."

[screwyoumarvel]

"I'm reasonably sure I didn't loan you any presents," Steve said dryly. "Come inside. You can taste-test my frosting and tell me what's wrong with it."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"You mentioned a birthday," Tony said, waving dismissively. "...why do you have frosting?"

[screwyoumarvel]

"It's Friday. Which. Is when I'm leaving, by the way. And I have to bake Deadpool a cake. I think I mentioned this."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Well. It's a good thing I forgot which day."

Or something like that.

"Cake, right. I think I remember that."

[screwyoumarvel]

"No, you don't," Steve said patiently.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Are you going to open them or not?"

[screwyoumarvel]

"But it's not my birthday yet."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"You're not serious, right?"

...Tony paused, realizing that he probably was. Boyscout.

[screwyoumarvel]

"Only half," Steve reassured him. "Is there one I should open first?"

He was never in the scouts, thank you very much.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Whichever." Tony looked around for this frosting he'd been told of.

[screwyoumarvel]

It would be in that bowl on the countertop, looking like frosting.

Steve opened one of the packages, to find...a laptop. He laughed. "You're definitely Tony Stark."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Well, of course I am. It's to go with the other gift."

Looked.

But there was something off about it.

Tony grabbed the bowl, dipping a finger in to try it. "...vanilla?"

[screwyoumarvel]

"Vanilla," Steve agreed. Steve opened the other package. And stared at its contents.

On the one hand, a whole new world had just opened up. On the other, technology scary.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Tony wasn't sure if that was a good silence or a bad one. So he went with a good cop out response.

"I had Pepper look for something," Tony said, trying more of the frosting.

To make sure it was good enough for this Deadpool person. Really.

[screwyoumarvel]

"Thank you," Steve said, while mentally hoping he didn't managed to break anything within the week. "And Pepper."

Steve figured he could always make another batch if Tony ate it all.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Good." Tony nodded, relaxing a bit as the gift was well received. "I'll make sure to let her know."